Poker Face

moms,


    Ironic ? Misplaced destiny ? Serendipity ? I don't know what to call this. For me it means nothing. It so happens that all 3 of us are in the country of USA from this November. Preetu, Vidya are on a flight to Phily. Pavan is in San Francisco. I am in Charlotte. 30 days from now, Pavan is going to fly in to Phily, I am driving to meet Preetu, Vidya and Pavan. But that doesn't even remotely excite me. There is nothing to look forward to. I don't know to call it ironic or whatever but the only thing enthuising about my trip to is that I will drive to Phily.


    Life as it seems - has come to a point where happiness from tangible objects is more sought after than satisfaction of talking to a friend. When the one reason that I came for isn't here, everything else is just boo-hockey. I have no enmity with anyone. Nor do I have any heart felt concern. I will still go to Phily. I will still try and scratch out any last living ounce of love towards preetu and pavan out from somewhere deep within myself. If I don't find one, I am going to atleast pretend - for old times sake.


+ Chetu

Seattle - nice place it is.

moms,
   big day tomorrow.

   3 weeks of preparation comes down to my performance in those 45 minutes. I hope I remain cool and think up as many approaches as possible to what the guy throws at me. Tomorrow is just the first step of my dream job in Seattle. I hope it goes well. Coming weeks will be very crucial. If all goes well, I can strike out a lot of things from my bucket list soon which othewise will require a lot of effort, time and money :)

   Seattle is known as the "most depressing city in the US." I beg to differ. I found it interesting and pretty (not as pretty as Heilbronn though). I mean, where else can you catch amazing views of snow capped mountains from your office window - both East and West side windows. Olympic national park (or the Olympic mountain range) is like 2 hours away. Mt. Rainer is like an hour's drive. Mountains of Oregon are like 4 hours away and finally Seattle is the closest city from which one can make multiple trips to Denali National park and Glacier National Park.

   Uff! I can go on and on about this list. Coming back the company itself - there is nothing to be said. It's wide open. one of the best companies to work for, period. I just hope I crack all that the engineers can ask me. Wish me luck!

 + Chetan

If only Greg was real

moms,

    Dr. House seems to have a gift. "Deductive Reasoning", or "Differential Diagnosis", or whatever it is called - he somehow cures his patients. Its good to watch his piercing sarcasm towards his colleagues (especially Dr.Cuddy). What if he was real ? What if he had your case ? Why are always fictional charactars the best ? 

+ Chetan

Uncle Sam calling poms

I love NetApp. I think NetApp likes me too. Hence, they've extended my internship over the fall semester. Yepp. You heard it rite :) I guess I'll stick around in the Triangle for one more semester (I still don't know where I'll stay though). This is for a different team under the same project. I'll get to be QA this time. I'll get a chance to see if I like it in QA, also I'll get to see first hand what happens and how it happens. Who knows, if I like it I might continue in this path. That said - there is one more thing going on here that'll baffle you completely. Poms is coming to the US (yes yes. you heard it rite.) Poms is coming to do MBA in a school located in San Francisco. More on that ... later and DNM might follow soon. So looks like we're all atleast one year late in getting to the country you left in 2010. It doesn't matter anymore ... coz the "fabulous" in "four" is out of the equation. I'll sleep now.


+ Chetu

Puchu goes to E&Y

moms,
    guess who is in E&Y - mergers and aquisitions ? Your dear sister. Its her first day at work moms, and this is the real deal. She worked very hard for this. It seems that the position is not open for candidates without experience. But with her merit they gave her an interview and she nailed it. They planned 3 rounds of interview, but by the end of 2 they offered her the position. I am very happy that she got into what she wanted. Really proud today. One amazing brother and sister u 2 make! Wish her luck man.

 + Chetu

ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತಾರು !!

moms,


    Twenty Six. Phew! it sounds really old when I hear someone say that. So much to do, yet nothing done. This year is going to be interesting for me. Or atleast I'll try and make it interesting for myself. Its already the 13th in India and a couple of calls came in. Was very happy to hear aunty and uncle wish me. Going back like 5 years ... this day used to be spent completely in your house where we sit and study for the impending "semester exams." Aunty would make something very nice for lunch. We'll eat to our heart's content (sometimes leaving behind little for aunty herself!). Remember ? once on we both took an oath not to shave our beards until the semester exams were over. That birthday was a good one. Some 13 people came to that hotel for dinner (yes, including Gowri and Radha) that was a funny one. And a year later to that, I brought sweets on my birthday to your house where me, you, preetu were studying together. I remember that I finished the whole sweet box leaving little for you guys! And then there is the infamous first birthday where I ran out of cash at the hotel and you and pavan had to pay up too!!! After that Pavan got cautious and kept some reserve money everytime I gave a "treat." Ah! the good old days.


    Five years hence, its all different now. Nothing special, or fancy today. Its another day in my life. I have invited the Raleigh junta over for dinner tonite. Let's see how many of are bold enough to turn up and eat the "wonderful" bisibeLe bath that I am going to make. I have no idea how to make bisibeLe bath btw. Only theoritical knowledge. But then again, there's the wisdom that I can use from youtube.com :)

My name is Anaya

   'ann', 'too', 'thee', 'dosa beku anaya ki', 'papaaa'. These are excerpts from Ananya's ever growing vocabulary. She's a little over a year old now moms. You should see how hyper active she has become. My mother, my aunt, my father, and my sister have a tough time handling her. She apparently runs around the house (mostly outside than in), likes to flip through her big and colorful picture books, loves to yank anything out of its place and spread it all over the floor. It seems she gets off the bed herself and I think she even climbs the bed herself. I so miss being there. You know, I thought she'll forget about be. But my mother told me that on the days that I do not call at the regular time, she brings the phone to my mother and says "mamaa." That's sweet. It is also remarkable as to how a toddler remembers the phone call patterns of some person she saw when she was three months old. Strange it is!

   That said, my internship at NetApp is going good. I like the team and the informal atmosphere. I love the veggie wrap and pasta salad for lunch. But lately, I've not been able to eat more than half of the veggie wrap :P Eric as a buddy is great and David is really affable. I so hope NetApp offers me full time. It'll be fun working there and to put some of my plans into action. Life apart from NetApp has been a little boring. But I try to keep it interesting. Want to go on this awesome trek to the Appalachian Mountains on some weekend. I hope I get to go there. This saturday (June 11th) NetApp is taking us to a Durham Bulls vs someone else baseball game. Looking forward to it.

until later moms,
+ chetu

2.3.081@ NetApp

moms,


Today was my first day at NetApp, RTP. I woke up really early, had a nice clean shave, was ready by 8 to be picked up by Swaroop. I wore the Ruggers T-shirt you got me back in 2006. It's my favorite t-shirt. I arrived at building 1 a good 90 minutes early than the time scheduled. Went in, filled some of the forms and gave my name to the nice lady out there at Security Badging. She typed in my name, and says "I am sorry, but I cannot find you in the database." I spelled out my last name to her but she said, "I got one entry for that name, but its not you." My heart skipped a beat! I told her to call Sara Burns and Brett Gunlock to verify. Went back to waiting in the lobby. Sara Burns came down and asked me if I had signed in. I told her the problem and Sara told me that they had entered my name as "Kumar, Chetan Kumar" !! They signed me in, got me a badge and I eventually went in. But I am known as Chetan Kumar, Kumar according to NetApp  :P I've arranged to get it changed over this week.


At the orientation session they asked all us interns to introduce ourselves with one interesting thing about oneself. I told'em that "I am the only intern coming from UNC Charlotte." Jill Ripper looked at me and said "ow yes." And for a few minutes I tried to think about something that is interesting in me - didn't find an answer!! 


The team I am in is awesome. There are some pretty amazing people out there. For a start, there's Brett Gunlock the manager who's in the industry longer than I am alive! Today at lunch I learned that he used to be associated with a nuclear submarine! He's a proper farm boy (man, watever) He's a pretty jovial and informal about things but most of all very affable. Then there's Daniel Holmes. He's a proud Duke University alum who's the team lead. The brain behind so many things yet so down to earth. He personally came up to me today evening and asked me about my day. I used the opportunity to ask him about a solution I had suggested to a problem he faced in the team (he told me about it in the interview) just to get me going. Finally, there's Eric Sirianni. He is a systems major from Stanford University. He's been great so far. I have heard a lot about him from all the other team members. I am looking forward to learn a lot from him and also make an impression about my brief stay here. 


The internship so far looks bright and interesting and eventful. I will give it my full horsepower and clinch a position at the end of it. More than that, I intend to make a lot of "friends" at NetApp. Let's see how it goes.


cheerio!
chetu

My world revolves around u

moms,

    That is quite a strong title. I can defend it. You are aware about all events that took place during our college days and a couple of years after. This post is about the events that happened this year. This morning I got a call from BeeJae Visitacion, a recruiter from VMWare. He wants to set up an interview with a hiring manager tomorrow. I already have gone through 2 rounds in technical interview in the Stress Testing team. Yepp - that's your team. Guess who's the manager - its Gunjan Patel. I very well remember a conversation between you and Gunjan you forwarded me in 2008. I thought that he is a good manager. Anyway, the point is - should I accept the offer that Gunjan makes tomorrow (I am pretty sure and confident that he'll be interested to take me) I'll be working for a team that you used to earlier.

    The thought of doing MS never crossed my mind soon after we graduated in 2006. I wanted to work for sometime and then take my chance - in India itself. You, and my mother respected that. Then after some gyan from you and the confidence shown by my mother and sister i took the leap from the Lion's head. I quit my job which kept me financially secure (if not satisfied) for 4 years, left home, and came thousands of miles to a place I thought I'll never come to. The fact that I didn't have any relatives didn't matter. You were here  ... that's all I cared about.

    Is it co-incidence or destiny that I didn't get through to so many companies that I applied to even with references but got through only to Microsoft, NetApp, and VMWare ? Is it a co-incidence that I didn't get through Microsoft interview after having done so well in it, but got through NetApp and VMWare ? Any internship is good internship. But why did I have some strange sub-consious seriousness and a fighting urge to get in to NetApp but not Microsoft. I was definately serious about Microsoft, but not as much as NetApp. It may be co-incidence or it may be because I already had lost an internship offer. I like to believe that it is destiny.

    I can give so many reasons to why I switched schools. But the topmost reason ... the one I don't normally speak about is that I want to be in NC. Opportunities are here, people are here, blah-blah, but more than anything else you are here - period. Given this, I am going to continue to live here until I have had enough of you.

ice-pice ಆಟ ಸಾಕು

ನನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿಗೆ ನೀನು ಸತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ. ಎಲ್ಲೋ ದೂರ ಇದ್ದೀಯ. ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಮುನ್ಸ್ಕೊಂಡು ಇದ್ದೀಯ. ಯಾವತ್ತೋ ಒಂದ್ ದಿನ ಬರ್ತೀನಿ ನಿನ್ನ ಕಡೆಗೆ. ಬಹುಷಃ ನಾನು ಬದ್ಲಾಗಿರ್ತೀನೇನೋ, ಆದ್ರೆ ನೀ ಮಾತ್ರ ಹಾಗೆ ಇರ್ತೀ ಅಲ್ವ? 
ನಾ ಮತ್ನದ್ಸಿದ್ರೆ ಉತ್ರ ಕೊಡ್ತೀ ಅಲ್ವ ? 
ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೋಪ ಹೊಗಿರತ್ತಲ್ವ ? 


+ Chetu

The World Cup is ours

    Lasith Malinga started his run up to bowl to MS Dhoni. We have like 4 runs to win from 11 balls. 200 people sitting in the auditorium. All of us watching very closely. There is this weird silence in the auditorium. Malinga released the ball ... Dhoni came down the ground, smashed it up in the air. The ball went so high ... all of us watched until the last moment. The ball went over the line, its a huge six ... and the whole theater erupted! And then ... you know how it is ... the victory celebrations.

    Triveni, an organisation for Indian Students at UNC Charlotte booked the university theater to watch the matches. We watched India v Pakistan and again India vs Sri Lanka too. About 200 people gathered and watched India win yesterday. I got myself a blue t-shirt, got the tri-color painted on my left cheek n watched the game. Its a different feeling watching the game amidst a lot of people. This I only understand now. After the game all of us (no, not 200 ... just 20 of us) went to a restraunt called Hibachi Grill. Japanese vegetarian cuisine also doesn't have much options :( I ate all I could possibly eat, came home and slept like a pig! That is how I spent my first weekend in April.

Hi! I am Chetan. But you can call me Rude.

moms,

    Imagine ... that u are leaving the university tomorrow for a job in a distant land. You've had some great memories for around 2 years with lots of people at the university. How many people will come to say goodbye to you ? right now ... for me ... its none. May be my room-mates, otherwise none. The point is not that - the more people come say goodbye to u ... the better. The point is, how you are with people. Irrespective of who comes or not, there is of course a core circle that sticks with you. Beyond that ... how many people have you managed to strike a chord with is what matters. This I have come to understand this lately. With you around all the time, I had a certain tone and method of speaking. I would have a lot of thoughts - one leading into another. But I would only say the last (or later) thought. You would get the thought process or atleast get what made me say what I said and acknowledge. To rephrase that, after a talk there would be no gaps between what is in my mind and what you understood from what I told you. I was stupid to have conveniently assumed that: somehow the whole damn world also understands if I think 99 thoughts but only speak out only the 100th thought. I kinda got used to the less verbose means of communicating with "people." I assumed that the thought process is implicit and some how conveyed even if I didn't end my sentences properly.

    I now understand the gaps between me and a person from PESIT that I'll never forget (he shares part of my name). There I was posting some random thoughts as status messages totally ignoring possibility of a very evident co-incidence in terms of the messages' context to his personal life. I thought about that status message, put it in and forgot about it. Little did I know that it offended that person so much ... that I think he hated me (or still does, i don't know ... and I don't care anyway.)

    Then there is the infamous incident about me sending an email to someone. Well, I heard from a third person that one of my friend had got a job overseas. I was so happy ... that I sent an email to that person congratulating that person. I didn't have a phone number to call and so I ended up sending an email with this exact content. "[Subject]: Congratulations! [Body] I heard that you got a job in XYZ." This person had not told me in person about the job offer yet. I didn't think that I should wait until that person tells me personally and then congratulate. I thought I'd send in a casual congrats email. At this end of the pipe, I m all happy and stuff. But on the other end of the pipe, I learn that: the person has taken serious offence of my email. That then sparked off a series of phone calls b/w some of my friends ... which is totally unknown to me and I got to learn how people take what I write or say. From my end, it was a harmless email. But it seemed sarcastic to the reader for whatever reason.

    One more incident is that: I came to know from poms that one of my classmate at PESIT hates me. Or atleast I think that its just one of my classmate that hates me... I don't know how many more hate me. Anyway, this class-mate (who is now in San Diego) hates me for some reason that I don't really understand. I have never teased him like the other boys in class. I didn't slap him outside the PESIT library. I didn'humiliate him or pick on him in class or anywhere in public like the other boys. Then why is the hatred ? If you recall ... I was the only one amongst all 3 of us who would speak on his side each time his topic came up when we were hanging out. I don't understand what I did that he would hate me. Again, from my end I would have thought that I didn't do anything offend him ... and god knows how he took whatever I said.

    Lastly, let's come to the awesome December California trip that I had. I thought the trip was awesome. I met some really nice people who let me stay with them for like half a month! We talked and talked for hours, shared stuff, argued about stuff, etc, etc. Looking back on it ... I have made some terrible blunders which I think have dis-figured my character in their minds. My intentions behind what ever I said or did were noble. Yet I think I was seen as someone who decides for others (yeah rite! I don't even decide for myself sometimes). Somehow "possessive" is how they'd describe me. I looked up the word in the dictionary and am not convinced. I think I am anything but that. I only wanted to have a good time. My definiton of good time is when everyone of us has a good time. When in a group, I don't really have a take on what specific group activity to do ... because for me their company is more than enough. I don't really care about what we do while we are together. This was misunderstood as "lack of interest." Can't really blame them because they don't understand me like you do. I think at the end of the trip ... I became someone that they had to bear because I had tagged along. I am not saying that they hate me. They'd be more than willing to have me over the next time I ask them to. But in that trip, I think I was reduced to an "option" from a "necessity." That is a sinking feeling moms. I think I did that for myself - without my knowledge. If I can, I would go and stop myself from boarding that flight to Memphis. I would stop myself from reacting the way I did when they offered to take us to San Diego. I would stop myself from saying what I said when we were talking about you. The last one was clearly where I hit the jackpot. That is where it went downhill for me. At the end of December, if all went well I should have made amazing friends. But now, I am not even sure if they like to pick up my call should I happen to call them.

    The Fall semester has taught me wonderful lessons. I also experienced a lot of new stuff when it comes to friends and people. At the end of the semester, Poms accused me of doing something... After he said what he did - it disturbed me and also gave me a question. After 8 years ... is this what you give me ?? I won't say I hate him now ... from his perspective he may be right in thinking so. Apart from poms ... I received some treatment that I did nothing to deserve, from her. That also gave me another question. What do you really think about me ? To conclude moms, after these series of events ... I have come to a fine conclusion that no one will ever understand me like you do. Apart from you and my mother ... I don't think there is anyone else that I have struck a positive chord with. Until July 12th 2010 I was a necessity in your life and some more lives because of you. After July 12th 2010, I am an option. An option they can live without quite comfortably. I am not going to isolate myself and bitch about the world. I need to start living in a manner that I never thought I would. I never thought I have to think and speak even to my friends ... because I assumed they know that I'd never remotely intend to hurt or leave them mentally disturbed. Apparantly that is not the case.

 + Chetu

NetApp calling!!!

moms,

    got it! got it! got it! Sara Burns called me right now and said: "Is this Chetan Kumar. This is Sara calling from NetApp. I am calling to inform you that we'd like to offer u a summer internship position at NetApp this Summer. U'll be working in Brett Gunlock's team. This will be a 10-14 week internship program starting from late May to Early June. You'll be paid $33 per-hour. You'll also be given a relocation allowance and travel or mileage reimbursement. So are you ok with the terms ? Do you accept the offer ?"

   I had no words for a second or two. Then I asked when is the starting date ? Should I decide and tell you the starting date immediately ? She said, "No you can fill out the offer letter with a suitable starting date." And then it struck me ... sh**t !! I am going to intern at NetApp!! that too NetApp RTP !! This is huge - for me. It's not sunk in completely yet moms... U know me, typical me. Stuff doesn't sink in too soon. Will talk more about it. For now ... I've got to attend a phone interview from vmware ;)

+ Chetu

7 days

moms,

    One tough and strenuous week of preparation juggling between a mid-term, 2 assignments, and the most important internship interview ever. This is one week I'll never forget. Started off with Swaroop's birthday bash last weekend. Met her and swaroop after like a month and a half or more. That's one of the reasons I even went to Cary :) Anyway, there we were sitting around doing nothing at Swaroop's place and I get an email from NetApp regarding an interview schedule. I was excited. This is the company you had been talking to me about while you were in Bangalore and after you came to NCSU. I finally have a chance to interview for an intern position at NetApp. I was not so excited when I got a call from Microsoft. But there is something about NetApp that attracts me. I don't know what it is yet completely. But I am determined to find out. I am confident about my interviews today. I would hire me as an intern. I have all they are looking for and more. I hope that fumble in the last interview didn't cost me much.

    This week is very memorable in many ways. I didn't know that I could handle those many parellel tasks. It was a good routine that I practiced. Although it has left me drained and saturated, I am happy that I had to go through it. This week ended just as interesting as it started. On the way back to the airport, we had a nice serious conversation. I kinda saw it coming. I am so glad that I am on the receiving end of such serious stuff. I must have done something right (or wrong). Since I have a mid-term tomorrow, we couldn't dive deep into the topic. I was briefly told ... and the rest is ... well, just feel. I got the feel. After my exam tomorrow (for which I am not studying right now) I should be able to concentrate more on completing the talk. Don't want no open ended discussions see. All in all moms, it was a very very good week. I sincerely wish NetApp brings me on board this Summer. I've got some ideas already :)

will talk to you later,
Chetu

Paradox - more than just a word.

moms,

    As days go by, I find myself better understanding the paradox of my life. 5 years ago, by this time we had completed a lot of things. I think you were into vmware. Preetu, you and Pavan got into Cognizant. I was selected in Wipro. I think you and veda had just started. I think this was the start of the 8th semester where you were interning with Cisco, Preetu was interning with IBM, me n Pavan were at home doing 8th sem project (respectively :) I think this was one of the semesters where we had maximum walk the talks. I think all of them around RR Nagar area. This was also the semester of realisations. You realised how much you are not suitable for a development job ... how many nights you spent learning up python for a scripting tool you wrote in Cisco! Preeth realised how much he hates IBM AIX. Also, he seemed to realise that Vidya's the one for him and soon change minds and say its over!

    Those walks is what I love the most. Although we wouldn't actually walk and talk ... those sessions somehow got the name walk the talk. Probably because we kept walking from one chat place to another :P Till now I didn't understand what was the trigger behind the talks, but somehow after having cutlet chat, and a burger we were in some philosophical topic or another. As usual, I used to be the wonderful listener ... pretending to be passive but inside want to listen to every word that's spoken. Somehow I had it etched in my mind that - i make a moo point. Even though I pretended that I had enough of the talk ... and looked at the world around (aka. bird watching) I secretely enjoyed it. I relived everymoment of the conversation soon after we left for our respective houses and smiled. Those conversations always gave me company. Hence I never felt alone. At a point in time, I kinda felt I had enough of these looong talks. Coz I felt most of the time they didn't lead anywhere. Its like you talk and talk until one of us feels the need to go home. I was so ignorant of the fact that those times and moments were spent with 3 of the most favorite people of my life. I was so naive that I couldn't even recognise the amount of feel good factor that came when we talked. Just being a passive listener to most of the looong life changing talks that we had, I had so much feel good about myself and my life. I can only imagine how good I would have felt and how much I would have changed had I actively participated in the discussions.

5 years hence, I sit at a library at one of the universities I never even remotely thought I would end up in, in a country I thought I'd never be able to visit - Paradox number 1. My house is a good 20 minutes walk from the library (or the classrooms). Each day I walk home even though there is a good bus service. I walk home because, the path home is nice. It gives me time to think. It gives me time with myself. I walk home because, that's when I retrospect. I walk home because, that's when I feel I want to talk to you the most. I want to talk about a lot of things that have changed and how I have changed. I want to talk about how situations present themselves to me and how I dealt with them (or blissfully ignored them). I want to talk about this new thing I found out about. I want to talk about that new dish I cooked and would love for you to taste it. I want to generally talk trash for a long time and feel good at the end of it. I walk home trying to do all these. I walk alone - Paradox number 2. I thought I was kidding when I told you guys: "stuff happens very late with me. I realise or understand or come up with some improved version after a definite time lag. That lag is greater than each of you." Little did I know that this is how I work! I realise a lot of things about us and our past and how I could have done something and didn't. I immediately pick up my phone and dial your number. You can't pick my calls now. Paradox number 3. All my life I've been in the company of some amazing people. Until engineering I had my sister and mother as good friends. Engineering onwards, you came along. Amidst all of you, I thought it'll be cool to say that I like being alone! I went to trips alone. I went to bike rides alone (of course, those are apart from what we went to), I went to movies alone. Little did I realise that isolating oneself temporarily is not called being alone. And now that I have come to understand what being alone means, I don't want to be alone. Just the feeling of lonliness gives me a chill. All I can do about it is to stomach it.

"Solitude is the company of a virtuous few." I kinda liked this as a punchline. Now that I know what Solitude truly means, I don't want to be one of the virtuous few. I want to be the normal un-virtuous fellow who claims to be alone but can't. Paradox number 4. I wish I didn't have to learn this way. I wish I realised the value of what I had with me back in 2008. I wish I had done well in that EMC interview I was called for on July 09th 2006. I wish I had come along with you on July 23rd 2008. I wish I was your room-mate in the US. I wish I was with you. Enough wishing .... I just want you.

Chetan

ಎದ್ದೇಳು ಮಂಜುನಾಥ!

moms,

    This was long overdue! I have not written to you in a long time! Lot of things have changed. For a start, it didn't work out. May be it wasn't meant to be. What ever circle completion stuff I told you about ... didn't materialize. However, if you think in another perspective ... the circle is still complete. If you think it isn't complete it isn't - and otherwise. It took one person a quite an amount of energy and effort to make me understand that. I finally understood a lot of things. One of the most important things is that: One is always in need of a perspective. The lack of a certain perspective on something, makes one go mad in the head. But once one understands that particular perspective, everything is as right as rain.

    Our little foursome group - I always pictured it to be a square with diagonals. Later I changed its visualization to a triangle - with a center that is connected to the vertices. That center is you. You held us together. I dono wat preeth and poms say, but I think you held it together even when you moved to US. I kept thinking as to what is it that brings us 4 together. I thought it was the love for food, climbing mountains, etc. But I am wrong. What holds us together is you. The others were mere materialistic reasons. It is with you that I want to climb any mountain possible. It is beside you that I want to ride to the highest motarable place possible. It is with you that I want to stand at Goeche La pass and wonder how many miles away is Mt. Kanchenjunga. It is with you that I want to stand on the beach and watch all the sunsets. Remember our biking trips to Shivu ?? well ... I want to do that with no one but you.

    When I first booked my tickets to Raleigh ... I wished that you'd come to the airport. We'd head home and you'd show me around NCSU ... especially all the places you told me about over the phone. Then we'd sit and have a loooong chat about life and why the heck did I, you, and the others come to the US in the first place. It wouldn't have bothered me much if we didn't go for a trip ... as long as we get to spend some time together. I think we most definitely would have had a session about how to convince your father-in-law. On and on I can go for ages !!! I still did come to Raleigh as planned. I still did go home. I didn't feel something missing. Didn't get that sinking feeling. Science may not agree, but I think you're there with me. Of course I can't slap you or hug you or reply to ur typical "karun" questions ... but you're always there. You always will be. For me ... you are still in some distant land where I have to take a looong leave to get to. You're there waiting for me. Waiting to be woken up by me ... just like old times. I'll get there moms ... and I will wake you  up. You better wake up soon.

+ Chetan

RTP Calling !!!

moms,

    Summer 2011 ... I definitely want to spend in RTP. I think it'll happen, provided I don't screw up the interviews. Yes. I got a call from NetApp ... resume's through! I got the mail now. Very happy and excited. If this is through! then ... one step closer to what I wished for.

+ Chetan

1/11/11

moms,
   I am now in Charlotte, North Carolina. 2 hours away from home. So much changed in the past 4 months. Exactly 4 months ago, I decided to change universities from UT Arlington. Spoke to a couple of people about it. Some of them wanted to change but decided not to because the process is too painstaking. Apply to  universities, get recco letters, test-scores, etc. But I went for it. I didn't find the process to be cumbersome. Probably because I wanted to change badly. Anyway ... 4 months later here I am. New university for a new year. The first time I came to Charlotte, I didn't feel anything. Didn't feel out of place, didn't feel lost, didn't feel home, didn't feel away. Just blank I guess. I was dropped off at Cary Amtrak station to catch a train toward Charlotte ... and all the way there I didn't know what to speak. Just spoke something random, made fun of Cary downtown. I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye ... anyway that's how I left home. 
   When someone says "Happy new year" - i don't know how to react. May be because I don't feel this is a new year. May be I never felt that its a new year. Some how this time I felt new year started on Jan 5th and not Jan 1st. I've come to realise certain things. This year my aim is to undo certain wrong stuff in myself. This is a promise.
   
 - Chetu

Sweet child

 Standing on some big rocks on Murudeshwara beach, he asked - "ನಾವು sea level ಗಿಂತ ಎಷ್ಟು ಮೇಲೆ ಇದೀವಿ ?"
 Standing on the beach, looking at the ocean he questions - "ಈಗ  tsunami ಬಂದ್ರೆ  ಹೇಗಿರತ್ತೆ  ಅಲ್ವ !"
 Some good people offered us paid bike-rides to certain interesting places around Sirsi, Karnataka. 2 bikes - 5 ppl. Sitting as a pillion on one of the bikes, he interacts with the driver so much and asks him - "ನೀವು ಹೆಂಗ್ ರೀ ಇಷ್ಟು oLLeavru ?"
 To counter the feeling of nausea, on a highway through hills - he tilts his head in the direction of the curve ... that's fine but he does that even at 4 am in the morning when the bus is out of Sagara, Karnataka. He's half asleep while he does his "headbanging" (as I like to call it) tilts his head for a curve and falls asleep ... I poke him, he wakes up immediately tilts his head the otherway saying "ನಾನು ಎದ್ದೆ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ" and falls asleep again.
 Though we tease him that he exaggerates when he acknowledges something, deep down we all know every word of his exaggeration is heart felt.
 Take any problem to him, he'll break it down and give you possible solutions ... and more importantly perspectives. Those perspectives will be flawless and the right thing. Call him gifted and he says, "ಕರ್ಮ! simple ಆಗಿ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಿದ್ರೆ ಜನ ಏನ್-ಏನೋ ಹೇಳ್ತಾರೆ." It is his birthday today ... the "child-like" mind and him ... ladies n gentleman ... this is Karun Nijaguna for you. 

 Happy birthday moms !!

chetu.