10/10/10

moms,


   for the first time me and poms got to speak about you (post july 12th). All these days both me and poms used to lock up all the emotions in a part of our mind that is not at all accessible when we're in public. Everytime I came to your house in those times, I constantly reminded myself that I need to be strong. Kshama looks at my face and gets her strength and she is inturn the strength of Shanti. Poms also did the same. When we leave towards our respective houses is when we got time for ourselves to think about the events that happened. 24kms of introspection, thought, tears later I used to reach Kundalahalli gate signal. One right turn and I'll be home. My parents can't see me like this and hence i used to lock up all those emotions again. Sometime late in the night I remember waking up and just sitting there looking at nothing. Mind completely blank. No clarity even a day into the future. That's when I decided to take each day as it comes. Living 24hours at a time. Nothing else matters.


   Today, poms and me spoke about this. Its good that we spoke about this. But I do know that we are on the same page. Its decided that none of us in the circle suffer alone. If one goes down, the others have to pull em up. It worked today. After the conversation I was feeling better. None of the questions remain answered, but a new strength is kindled. It is true that we now have formed a circle - the three of us. The circle spans over 2 countries now. The plan (and hope) is that we are all in the same place soon. I am just counting down days moms... every day takes me closer to October 22nd. That's when I'll go back to Raleigh. Pretty soon October 22nd will come and go. What after that ? This is a big question. None of us know how things will unfold in the near future. There is always hope that it goes as we think. Then again reality wakes us up each time. Last 2 times our hope lost ... we may have enough in us to take it one more time. Speak to the big man urself moms... ask him for this one hope to be true. If I were to ask ... then I ask the big man to send u back to us. The world is not the same without you. On the 10th day of the 10th month of the 10th year of the new millenium... I ask of you to come back. 
Come back with your heart and mind and love unchanged. 
Come back with those smiles on your face seeing which we had joy in our lives. 
Come back with your theories and analogies about life which are proved right time and again. 
Come back with your passion to live from which we seek to be inspired. 
Come back to the joy of simple road trips that we used to have each semester. 
Come back for the countless hours we've spent in RR Nagar discussing life. 
Come back for the tender coconuts at Hanumanthnagar drinking which we made all our plans in life. 
Come back for the dhokla in BDA complex eathing which we used to come up with extemporaneous trips. Come back for the chutney in SLV eating which showed us what contentment feels like.
Come back because you need to see what we've become.
Come back and put some smiles on our lives.
Come back moms... please come back...


- chetu