Ever had that feeling that u are missing something ? I have it every day as soon as i am awake, when i m brushing my teeth, when i m having breakfast, and especially when i am riding my bike. Its just this feeling of being lost. I look around when that happens. I still got my friends, family around me but there is this gap which i am not able to fill.
Hours of aatma chintane (asking question to self) gives nothing. The buck is just passed on from one context to another. Some times i try to zero in on the possible gaps - and i hold work load responsible. If that's the reason then there is a simple remedy - trekkin!! But that's not it because i am working with a new team right now and the work load is not that demanding. Still that feeling of being lost follows me everywhere.
I thought i am not doing what i am passionate about then again, i am part of a theatre team which is doing a come back show next week. I remember very well i enjoyed being part of that team and giving performances more than anything. Now after 3 years i am going back on stage doing what i like very much ... still that feeling of being lost is impressed on some corner of my mind. It shows up quite frequently.
Can it be that my mind is idle and its thinking too much - in the wrong direction ? or can it be that i am actually missing something ? Or is it that i am taking some dream that i had (god knows when) very seriously ? do I hate anyone in office ? do I not like my job ? am not addressing any of my responsibilities ? or is it that i am not sleeping much ? such questions haunt (i tried to find a better word ... but that's my situation) me all the time. I suddenly feel like that boy who could see dead people!